As I laugh at this picture it dawns on me that it perfectly captures my cancer treatment dilemma. My chemotherapy, the very thing I am relying on to keep me safe, is also the very thing that is most threatening to my very survival. Killing the cancer, but teetering me on the edge of death by stroke. My meeting with my oncologist yesterday resulted in a plan to continue the chemo infusions this week, but drop off the Avastin, which he thinks is the culprit for the huge spike in my blood pressure. How I am hoping that he is right!! The blood pressure med I have started has dropped my BP down a bit, so I am less scared than before,(thank You God), but it still feels a lot like scrambling on this rooftop with a rope tied around my tender neck! So I have had to “pick my poison”… no longer a cute-sie phrase for an innocuous choice. So God, untie this “safety” rope from around my neck and let’s put it where it belongs… through a carabiner clipped to a secure body belt! With you as my bestie Belayer! “Climbing! Climb on!”
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