I can’t believe how much this picture captures where I am right now. Except the leaves and branches would be more battered… barely clinging on to the determined trunk. God how I need Your protective, nurturing touch today. Yesterday was brutal. A hurricane of winds that slammed every part of my shaky body. Weather forecast WAY under projected! Couldn’t even fake a smile yesterday. Is today a “calm after the storm?” Not sure yet. Tummy is still churning. Head spinning. Limbs trembling from the onslaught. Seeing Your strong, protective hands encompassing my little tree gives me renewed hope! You are with me. I am not alone. Storms will come and go. But You remain. Steadfast, faithful, protective. So hold me in the gentle cup of Your supportive palms.

Lamentation 2/28/21: God I absolutely know You are with me in this onslaught of chemotherapy pain. BUT… with SOOO many people praying for me, why is it hurting so much? Surely You could honor their prayers and rein back the nausea, headaches, dizziness, and now bone pain. I know suffering is a reality in life, and You often allow us, Your beloved children to go through the same sufferings as the rest of the world… for purposes beyond our understanding. I actually take some sense of purpose from that, choosing to trust that You are God and I am not. But in this moment I need to lament. Groan. Writhe in pain… and confusion. It hurts. I know You are near, but the waves of misery are so overwhelming that I am clinging to Your Presence and promises by faith alone. Fingertip grip. Even that hurts. Soooo… secure that grasp on Your goodness with flashbacks to ALL the times You have come through for me when life seemed hopeless and I helpless. Don’t let Satan erase those heroic rescues from my feeble mind at my moments of pain. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” It’s dawn now, so Sonrise into my shadowy horizon.