I must confess, recently I have been going “back to the beginning” of his battle with cancer to figure out where I went wrong. Not the “karma” kind of wrong that magnetically pulled this disease into my body. Nor the “God is punishing me” kind of wrong that I somehow earned it on my own. But the, “how did I, with my best efforts to include the medical profession in this quest, manage to miss this diagnosis at an early stage, when it would have been more treatable?” Scanning my medical records, I found that I had started sniffing out the symptoms over 2 years ago! Everybody from my primary care doctor, to physical therapists, to cardiologists, to gastro docs missed the clues… and had me feeling like a hypochondriac in my persistent complaints. I guess ovarian cancer is just too sneaky… presents as other ailments while it builds up its army under cover. It occurred to me Lord, that You could have easily put the possibility of it being ovarian cancer in one of those medical professional’s minds… but You didn’t. No blame, no bitterness… just some confusion. You are God and I am not. So it brings me to this admonition. “Can’t go back… so start where I am and change the ending.” If You hadn’t promised to redeem good, even electrifying purpose out of the bad in our lives, I would be taking You to task right now! Why? Why? Why? BUT these kind of redeemed treasures are woven throughout every story in Your Word! From Joseph’s senseless stuckness in prison to Lazarus’s untimely death as You intentionally arrived late. Lots of “whys” there too! But Your “endings” were magnificent! From prison to princehood, RIP to resurrection! I have no idea how this cancer ordeal will end, but let’s You and me make this homestretch to whatever that finish line is, MAGNIFICENT!
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