Reflections 8/6/2020: These are prisoners of war just released from a Japanese prison camp. Love their joy in their new-found freedom! No more bars, barbed wire or fences to keep them bound in captivity! I realized, Lord, that I have not been similarly celebrating my jailbreak from chemotherapy. What is THAT all about? Hmmm… I think it is because I feel like I have been released from prison, but placed in a half-way house with a draconian parole officer watching my every move. Will the cancer return? Will my choice not to spring for the ridiculously expensive ($5800/month) follow-up drug be a death knoll? Will my immune system, (especially if I do use a second choice follow-up therapy), ever get strong enough to give me range of mobility beyond the confines of this half-way house? Given the dang corona virus, am I stuck with a restrictive, prison ankle bracelet for the duration? Will I be able to fix my bum knee in the midst of this all, or will I just have to embrace my limp (and limited biking and hiking) as my new normal? All legitimate concerns, Lord. BUT, what I am NOT factoring into this bleak equation is YOU! If I truly believe that You LOVE me, KNOW what’s best for me, and CAN DO miracles in making that best happen, what is there to fear? I SHOULD be celebrating! OK… choice time. Change of focus. Eyes on You Jesus, not the waves. Let the joy of jailbreak begin!
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