Reflections 1/2/21: My most recent blood test revealed that my tumor markers have doubled in the last 6 weeks.☹️ Not what I was hoping for. BUT, that dramatic rise really measures the amount of inflammation in my body, which suggests tumor growth. And that inflammation could be due to the recent gall bladder removal. SO… I am trying not to react by assuming the worst. My default mode wants to succumb to fear, projecting out another trip through chemo hell, nausea, weight loss, brain fog and shedding the hair on my head that has JUST begun to make me feel feminine again. Ahhhh!! SO God, shut down this default mode and help me trust You “one day at a time.” Your allotment of strength is apportioned for today…. not for all of the tomorrows. Hope for tomorrow?Yes, but the actual strength needed is TODAY’S manna. My pet scan on Monday will shed light on what’s really going on inside of me. Any actual tumors exposed. The good news is that my labored breathing is MUCH better, which makes me wonder if the blood clot in my lung is  dissolving on its own! Prayer power?!! Consider this Reflection as my requisition for a January 2nd allotment of strength… and peace.