Reflections 2/14/2020: Well, if I’m committed to chronicling this journey through chemo, I guess I must include the trips through crazy town. Last night was a full throttle psychotic attack! Started with seeing peculiar after-images from light sources that floated around me, had an almost a beetle-like shape… and kept changing colors. Weird enough… so I closed them off by climbing into bed. Not the reprieve it has been in the past though. An attack ensued on every one of my senses! Tastebuds started producing bizarre flavors. Ears felt heavy and dull. Fingertips started tingling. Acid reflux surged upward. And metallic smells with rusty components filled my nostrils! What the heck? Refused to succumb to fear though Lord! Clung to Your Shepherd’s hand like Much Afraid being harassed by Craven Fear! “Bullies begone! My Daddy’s bigger than yours! Take your lying taunts elsewhere!” And sleep finally came. Feel pretty darn good this morning. Even hope to help in the FoodBank if my body cooperates for a few more hours. Lord, I don’t know if this is the shape of things to come for these next few months, but if so, it will truly be a one-hour-at-a-time walk of trust with You. A lesson I deeply need to learn… so let’s do this!
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