This was ALMOST my experience the other day as Roo and I were innocently promenading around the lake at Clement Park. Chemo has been playing “grab bag” with my body, alternating me with gifts of bloody noses, dizziness, and constipation followed by the flood gates of diarrhea. Happy as clams (whatever that means!), Roo and I set out on our circular walk… which took us about 1.5 miles, mostly out of the range of a restroom. After a few surges of gastric distress, which I managed to quell, a fourth struck with bestiality! I KNEW I was in trouble! The closest bathroom was the nearby library, which was still 100 yards away. Roo in tow, we scrambled frantically for the front entrance, intestines threatening to explode out of my rectum! I looped Roo’s leash around a pole, and fled for the door in desperation! Forgetting that masks needed to be worn, and a check-in was required, I burst inside, making a speedy beeline for the bathroom! Shocked, the front door guard yelled for me to stop and cover my face. Still on the run I showed her that I pulled my neck gaiter up over my nose, and announced loudly to the whole library that I had diarrhea! At that point I didn’t care who knew! They ALL would anyway if I didn’t make it to the stool! And I did!!! Ahhhhhh… can you say “nirvana?” Sheepishly I emerged from the ladies’ room and tried to saunter nonchalantly out the front door. The guard gave me the evil eye on my way out and I noticed a police car pulling up in the parking lot! Whoooo, that was close! Roo was delighted to see me in much less distress and we discretely returned to our walking trail. Now I am checking the post office for my mug shot since I am truly now “a girl on the run!” (Thanks a lot God, for making me the butt of Your joke!)