Reflections 5/8/2020: Boy am I a tortoise this morning or what! Had to claw my way out of bed 2 hours later than I usually get up! Moving slowly and a bit depressed. Hmmm… must summon some gratitude to dispel this mood. Sorry God. All the days are blending together and feel a little pointless. Kinda like I’m at the starting line of a race course that has no lanes or clear direction. I think part of the problem is that when this cancer hit, I was just at the start of redefining myself after 6 years of full time work at Stepping Stone. That reconstruction project got put on hold, and my future course became a blur of confusion. So lining up for a day’s race feels… uninspiring. God, we need to do something about this unworthy attitude! Hmmm… “TRUST.” OK… what does that mean? “Trust that I have a future for you! Trust that I can use even the most banal day for good, and even for your transformation! Trust that pain never goes wasted! Trust that I love you and am with you whether you move at rabbit speed or tortoise  crawl in the race course I will reveal to you as you need it.”