Papcie (my new CPAP machine) and I are finding good ways to get along! It was round #3 last night and we are getting our dance step down! (Yay! But I know many of you reading this have struggled more than I have thus far. ) For me the battle has been when I first put her on my face, and completely block my nose with her rubbery mask, I feel panicky and want to breath out of my mouth. I have to FIGHT that reflex and CHOOSE to trust that if I just LEAN INTO the design of the mask, I WILL get the air I need to breathe! The first few gasps are breaths of faith, refusing to resort to my mouth’s supplemental help, (which when added to the mix only complicates the situation). But after discovering the design to be trustworthy, I find myself relaxing… even enjoying the fresh rush of air filling my lungs! And sleep comes easily! More refreshing too! Wake up earlier, ready to take on the day. Naps are becoming optional instead of mandatory acts of desperation! And my chemo-induced dizziness seems less disorienting! Go figure!! But it DOES remind me of MY BATTLE TO TRUST YOU as well Lord. My “nose” (of grasping the “what now” or “why” of a situation) often feels blocked, and my default mode is to resort to my “mouth” (of personal strategies) to “help You out!” Straddling trusting You AND supplementing Your help with rescuing myself, messes up Your design! (A breathing version of “too many cooks spoil the broth”… or breath!) So as I sing,  “It’s Your breath in our lungs, so I pour out my praise, pour out my praise to You Lord , may it truly be YOUR breath… not the choppy hybrid I am so good at inhaling in half-hearted (or half-lung’d) distrust of Your design!