Reflections 2/23/2020: What a difference a day makes! Sadly in the wrong direction though! This allergic reaction is like watching a human being instantly transform into a werewolf from exposure to a full moon. God, this whole process is beating me up more than I can take!There is nothing I can do but ride it through. The reactive chemicals are already in my body, hopefully fighting the cancer, but also triggering this allergic reaction. The solution? Steroids, which put on 14 lbs of water weight in 2 days! Less itching, (thank You God!), but overwhelming in its own way. A friend brought over a book about “Discovering the Grace of Lament,” and I am already intrigued to grow in this area of honest connection with You, Lord. 1/3 of the Psalms are lament songs… “Where are You God? Why is this happening? It hurts like hell! BUT I am clinging to You … Your character and Your track record of faithfulness in my own and so many other people’s lives.” Help me not to get stuck in the complaining stage, but keep the process moving toward a deeper trust in You. But thank You for allowing us that right to complain! There is something deeply therapeutic about allowing these mutinous thoughts to rise to the surface so You and I can grapple honestly with them. And grace can be plumbed at whole new depths. I love You God… even when You are delaying the restoration stage of my healing. And thank You for ALL the loving people who are holding me up in prayer… so helpful when my own prayers are barely limping along.