Reflections 7/3/2020: Thank you all for your incredibly supportive prayers for my upcoming cat scan. I met with my gynecological oncologist surgeon yesterday and he flipped out when he heard that my insurance company was balking at paying for my last round of chemotherapy! He shouted that they were playing Russian Roulette with my very life! That even with a clean cat scan and low tumor markers I had an 80% chance of this aggressive cancer coming back with a vengeance! WHAT?! 80% chance?!! Them’s horrible odds!! Threw me for a loop… have to admit, God, for a depressive stretch of time I exiled You from this equation and let the numbers inform my emotions.😢Could barely limp home from my appointment. Felt like Damocle’s sword hanging over my head for the rest of my life. Then I re-invited You back. Began to think of Moses’s odds of getting his panicked mob across the Red Sea. Or Joshua’s chances of felling the walls of Jericho by marching laps and issuing bugle calls. Or Your likelihood, Jesus, of feeding a crowd of 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Numbers don’t matter in Your mathematical equation. You call the shots… the odds don’t. Sooo, with the reality of the 80% chance of the return of this cancer in mind, I choose to trust You Lord! And like Moses, facing a seeming impassable sea, I will raise my rod of faith with expectant courage!