Reflections 1/16/2020: I am still on a quest to let go of some past hurts that keep recycling through my brain. I keep thinking if I just process them rightly I can put an end to them and move on. So far that strategy hasn’t worked very well. Retraumatization every time I conjure up the conflict… with little resolution. Today’s devotional reading in “Jesus Calling” made me reconsider this repetitive approach to healing. It addresses worry in the future-tense, but I think it is equally applicable in squelching the power of past-tense offenses. “Rehearsing your troubles (or hurts) results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur. Do not multiply your suffering in this way!” How simple is that?!! As a therapist I know we need to face past hurts…  but not in a repetitively traumatizing way. So God, what is the solution? What brings healing… Your permanent kind? Not sure yet… but Your Spirit brought to mind this phrase from the Lord’s Prayer as I chewed on this. “Forgive is our trespasses AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.” Sooo, whenever those past offenses come knocking at the door of my memory, let me answer them with these very words! And the humility to remember just HOW MUCH You have forgiven me for in my hurtful attitudes and actions! Please help me replace retraumatizing “rehearsal” with freeing “forgiveness!”